3 days before silences and visibility

I am starting to feel anxious and drain from the thought of being silent for 19 days  and being seen for 19 days. I have imaged the difficulties of communicating at work and in classes. I have already imaged the stares from peers and classmates. I thought I knew what I was getting into, but as the first day gets closer, the fears come up. This whole week have gone too fast. I knew I was afraid and I knew the longer I waited, the more stress I would feel. I told my professors that I would like to start as soon as possible, because I did not want this feeling to go away. But it did. That feeling of courage and passion. The only thing left is fears of actually starting. I will try my very best to find that courage and passion again before April 2nd. I will try to stay strong as I expose the truth, my truth. And I will stay strong to others who have suffered and are still suffering. For her, I am willing to try.

Advertisements

Taped Stories #1

Taped Stories #1:

“11 years ago my husband found out that his biological father had been drugging and sexually assaulting him, his sister and their 6 half siblings since infancy. All of this came to light due to a criminal investigation that resulted in his bio father going to jail for 60 years, virtually a life sentence as he was in his 50’s at that point. The fact that my husband doesn’t remember anything is almost a blessing in disguise, but also a curse, as it has left him with so many questions and wondering about his mother and step-mother’s involvement or knowledge. It forever changed his immediate and step family. It has been hard to watch his step-siblings become lost and in some cases self-destructive behavior has been a consequence. I found myself personally filled with anger that this person hurt my husband so deeply and violated the most precious of bonds. This anger was compounded when my husband’s mother, sister and grandmother somehow believed that he wasn’t affected as much as his sister and did not seem to care or value his feelings as much as females. I have since discovered this weird sigma/double standard with sexually abused boys and it is quite disturbing. This type of event does not have to define your, or my husband’s life, and although it may sound indifferent, I truly believe that it is not what happens to you that matters, it is how you proceed after it happens. The path to healing and accepting is in moving on in a healthy way.” – March 28, 2017

Starting my Art Performance

Click here to see my performance art schedule for April 2017.

As I prepare for 19 days of silences, I am overwhelm of the preparation and uncertainties. Each day, I fear more and more of the possible responds, if any, and the reaction from my loved ones. How will my classmates, and friends react? Will I be able to go though with it?

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑