Day 19 Refection (Last Day)

Today was my last day. This was it. It been a long and short journey. There was time when I wish I haven’t thought of this project and then there was time when I thought that I can do this longer than 19 days. I could get use to it. But eventually there is an end to everything and it was today for the duct tape. I am content and excited to move on to the next journey. As I am getting more submission of stories, I am excited to work on narration of the stories on campus. Our stories will be heard. Thank you all for following me and supporting me throughout this journey. Really, without you all, I probably wouldn’t have a good experiences with this project.

I have been writing less on my mini notebook because I am communicating more on through texting and writing on scrap papers and sticky notes. These past 19 day, I have only went out to restaurants a few time. I usually use an app to buy food on campus. But off campus, I am accompanied by family or friends and I would text them what I want. Today in my late class, a classmate ask if this was the last day and I nodded. She wanted some feedback on one of class project. She told me that I should just talk because it was my last day. I shooked my head and wrote down on my mini notebook of questions and comments. This was the best I can do for her.

As I walked with a classmate to her car, many people were walking around because of Thursday night market. There was a lot of high school students and older people. One student mentioned the tape right as I passed them. I kept walking because that was not a good time to have an interaction in the middle of a crosswalk. And I am pretty good with ignoring people now. I just look straight on now but I am aware of people’s stares. My classmate said that she was use to my duct tape now and so when she saw an older man just staring for a long time, she was surprised. I tried to use my hands to gesture that I am pretty use to it too. I am getting comfortable with not talking. I was listening if people were willing to talk about anything.

I am hurt when people did ignored me or maybe that was just how I saw it. Earlier in the week, I was in a class of 6 and the instructor asked person to person of their input on this discussion. I wrote on my mini whiteboard of each questions she asked but she had called out to the other students. I was surprised and embarrassed as I erased my comments on my whiteboard. Today in my late class, a classmate who was in my group project showed his work to the other group classmate sitting right behind me and then left. I ignored him but he only called out the other group member. I did not have a good relationship with him but I had to tell myself that I didn’t really care anyways.

With this project, there was so many things that was difficult like actually walking with the tape and communicating with family, friends, and etc. At some point, I did have to tell myself why I was doing this project. The communication wasn’t what I dislike most. It was because I was sticking out in a crowd. I really did not like to stand out that much especially with something that isn’t suppose to be on my face. But I made it. I took a long leap and it feels good to have come this far. And of course, if I did not have support for this, I would of never followed through, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Special thank you to…

Bao Xiong, Jer Xiong, Julie Xiong, Khou Xiong, Karly Derosa, Bill Lee

Professor Joshua Olivera, Professor Lauren Ruth, Professor Rachel Middleman, Sierra Diamond and class Arts 495

Cross-Cultural Leadership Center family and Katie Peterson

Strong brave soul who shared their story

 

 

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