It has been a full week after my silence performance. I was very excited to have my voice back on midnight of April 21. In the beginning, I was hesitant to speak. I am still limiting myself even after the tape has been removed. It took some time to switch back on to talking again. My throat starts to strain after having long conversations. I wonder if that was what I usually sound like before. I am fine now and I am completely comfortable again. I was exhausted and was glad that this was over. It was tough but I did it.
I been wondering if people understood my mission. I thought about the times when I did not give out the notecards to certain people. Should I have tried to even though I did not feel comfortable to do so. I learn that I was still not ready to tell my parents and grandparents. I think that I am still processing this project and my experiences. I am proud to go through this project with many support. I feel relieved that I have let out my truth and knowing that I challenge people to reflect and even speak out. I still think about that little girl sometimes. I hoped this has reached to her family somehow. I hope they know that she is not alone.
I picked up my first book that discussed sexual abuse a few years ago. It was a random book that I scanned over. I remember one particular story of a mother abusing her male child. The child grew up and he stated that it was mutual. I remember reading about a man getting raped in a public bathroom. He stated that it happened so fast and that he thought that this will never happened to him. I remember reading a post on a video where the daughter stated of a sexual mutual relationship with her father. Sexual abuse is very tricky because most time the abuser is a trusted individual and older. And the victim is usually younger or just a child. Sometimes I wonder, why people become abuser. I feel that we need to talk about sex and sexuality. Our education need to do a better job that explains how to protect ourselves. We also need to discussed about our patriarchal society and power and oppression. I think we still got a long way but it starts with us first.
I am still collecting stories for another week. During this time, I will still be reflecting and looking over all the writings on my blog and sticky notes to people. And so I challenge you all to reflect on any injustice incident or any experiences that made you feel uncomfortable. And when you are ready, share with us your story.